I am an extremely structured person, as you can probably tell given that I designed this 90 day plan to rewire my brain... I love developing structures that work for me, and I find them helpful for many things, from developing new habits to producing large creative projects. And yet I know that structures that are too rigid become dangerous, repressive, and unable to adapt to changing realities. Living a rigidly structured life is also in direct conflict with the idea of being present in the moment. If I plan everything in advance, my creativity is stifled and my life becomes smaller, less full of possibility, less full of wonder. And so I am working to find the grey area of my life - the area where I can flow with the present moment, and also create the present moments of my imagination through planning and organizing.
How do I determine a healthy balance in my life between being in the present and planning for the future? While I certainly have thoughts about the future that are not constructive, when I make plans or take actions that lead to priceless future moments it feels healthy and helpful. As I begin to accept the structured chaos of my life, I am still figuring out what this means for me. How do you define the balance between fully experiencing the present moment and proactively planning for future?
When I originally wrote this blog, I posted 89 out of the 90 days. Now, as I am in this reflective process 10 years later, I have missed a few days already, including the last 3 while I took a special trip and allowed myself to fully immerse in that experience, without keeping tied to the external structure of reflecting on this blog each day.
ReplyDeleteThis feels like progress, and a healthy balance that is closer to the ideal I was writing about in this original post 10 years ago. It feels a lot more easeful these days to have flexibility in my structures. And, on the other hand, it is harder to have discipline and stay consistent with developing new habits. Things take longer to fully integrate, because I'm not using willpower to "make" myself be consistent. It's a slower, more meandering path to change, but it also feels important and a trade-off that is worth it.