As I rewire my brain, I am changing my outlook more and more. I am seeing things from a different angle, rephrasing my thoughts to make subtle but important distinctions, and reframing my problems, needs, and conflicts. As someone who works with children, I am adept at refocusing a child's attention to a different detail or aspect of a situation that they are happier about. I have done this in my own life in many ways as well, choosing often to build on the successes rather than trying to repair the failures. It is a powerful technique that has had many positive effects in my life. There is a point at which this technique becomes more harmful than helpful, however. When I avoid looking at certain problems, it can foster denial or purposeful ignorance. At what point does reframing become a denial of reality? Considering I'm quite doubtful these days about the
nature of reality itself, this becomes an incredibly difficult question to answer. I think the only possible answer is the answer of the gut - if it feels like a lie, or a suppression of a truth, then it is denial of reality. If the reframing thought feels more freeing and uplifting, than it is probably a useful strategy.
This post still resonates, and these days I also see each frame as one particular reality tunnel that is real to a specific Part of mine. We all have Parts that are highly optimistic and Parts that are jaded, Parts that are inspired and Parts that are defeated. When I toggle between ways of framing a specific situation, it's like I'm consulting with each Part and their perspective on the matter. Some of the perspectives are more helpful, some are more grounded in consensus reality, and they are all "right" to a certain extent. Engaging with each frame is a way of showing that Part that I am interested and concerned with their experience, and that I am taking them into consideration as I make decisions. This makes it easier to hold each reality lightly. There is truth here, and there is bias. There is an important perspective, and there is shadow work. And so coming back to the last part of my original blog post, what it really comes down to is how that particular framing feels. If it uplifts and supports me, then I'll try to amplify and deepen that Part's version of reality. If my body feels stifled or diminished in that framing, I'll focus more on moving the energy and soothing the fears and hurts underneath it.
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