Day 47: Practice

photo by Jerry Fiddler

As a kid, I participated in many sports including soccer, baseball, softball, basketball, cross country, tae kwon do, and gymnastics. I was always impatient for the games/meets/matches, and annoyed that there was so much practice in between. I was told by my coaches that the goal of practice was to create muscle memory so that I would be able to act quickly during a game, without having to think or strategize in the moment. I would just automatically throw the ball to second for the double play, for instance. Without practicing the scenario of a runner on first and a ball hit to the infield over and over, my reaction time would be too slow to get the double out. This all made logical sense and seemed to work, yet I still just wanted to skip the whole drudgery of repetitive practice for the excitement of the game.

And today I still find myself reluctant to practice what I am learning through this brain rewiring process. I want to master a new skill (like feeling my emotions, or giving up perfectionism) and then check it off my list and move on. Unfortunately for me, this is not how it works. Just because I am having some success with an area of rewiring my brain does not mean that I can stop practicing. In fact, if I do not continue to practice each skill I am learning, I will slide back into my old habits. Part of the theory behind rewiring my brain is that new neural pathways can be created to override ingrained ways of being. It takes a lot of practice, however, to create thick enough neural pathways to make the metaphorical double plays in my emotional life. I am grateful to have so many friends to share this experience with, who are helping to remind me of the purpose of rewiring my brain, the strategies I know to be effective, and the motivation to keep using them. I will continue to practice in order to develop my "emotional game", even though I am resistant and impatient. It was worth it in my childhood, and it is worth it today.