The Power of Reframing

Photo by Liz Acosta

As I continue to talk back to the negative voices in my head, I am discovering how effect it is to reframe the shadows in myself that these voices condemn. There is a purpose and positive aspect to all of my struggles, and embracing this is a powerful means of counteracting the negative voices with gratitude rather than with an internal shouting match. For example, yesterday I was struggling to redirect a negative coping strategy of overeating, replacing it with journaling to figure out why I was feeling the need to numb my emotions. I was successfully able to intervene at that moment, and to discover the subconscious emotional issue that I was trying to avoid thinking about. In that moment I felt a deep gratitude for the more destructive coping strategy, because it is a powerful indicator that can tell me when I have needs that are not being met. This gives me the opportunity to reassess the present moment, adjust what I’m doing, and actually improve the situation rather than continuing to suppress my own reality. These older habits are actually beautiful gifts that afford me self-awareness, and are therefore incredibly valuable. I have never felt this way about habits I am trying to shed, and it was a moment of deep liberation.

In order to rewire my brain, I am studying the neural pathways that already exist so that I can better understand how to adjust the structure of my brain. One of the ways I can study my own brain is to re-read old journals. I have kept a journal since I was 5 years old on and off, and very consistently since I was 15. I was re-reading my journal from 15 to 17 years old yesterday, and was amazed by how well I knew my self and my issues then, and also by how quickly I believed they could be healed. At 17 I was surprised and dismayed to still be dealing with the same issues as I had been at 15. Little did I know I’d still be addressing many of them at 30! At 17 one area I was working on was patience. I thought I needed patience because I was almost an adult and still not fully self-actualized as the person I wanted to be, so I was working on having patience with myself as I continued to improve. I imagined it would take another year or two to “solve” all my problems and be exactly who I wanted to be – my highest self. This timeline seems laughable now, but I can still remember how long one year felt at that point, and how old I thought I was, how far behind in my process I imagined myself to be. I continue to struggle with patience at times and with unrealistic expectations for myself, and yet I have so much compassion for that naïve 17 year old, and for the still developing 30 year old I am today. 

Now I am reframing my process not as a goal-oriented struggle that has to be completed by some deadline, but as a lifelong journey of joyful liberation and gentle self-actualization. There is no “end,” at no point will I have achieved my goal of reaching my highest self. There is always more to uncover, more to discover, more to create, more to enjoy, more to envision, more to give and more to receive. Patience isn’t about being able to wait longer, it’s about seeing every moment as precious just as it is, without waiting for the “good” moments and numbing the “bad”. It’s about being here, now, in each moment as it unfolds. I am very excited by this new reframing technique, which I think can extend into many areas of my life. Have you used this technique successfully in your own process of self-transformation? I’d love to hear about it in the comments section if you have.